Stressing

I have been stressing lately…ok, not just lately. For the past two months or so I’ve been stressed out about work, about the fact that I’m looking for work closer to home and might have to go back to working outside of education to accomplish that, and about how in the world I’m going to take care of my daughter while doing all of that and stressing too! It’s been horrid…and I have allergies cropping up that are really not helping matters any. I have worried, stressed, chewed over, etc every possibility I can think of, every second I can think!

Today I realized something…I don’t care. I don’t need to stress or worry or any of those other things. I need to work and work it out. Whatever it is that I have to do, I’m going acetaminophento do it. The two things I HAVE to do in my life are take care of my daughter and write. I just want to write. Whatever I HAVE to do in order to make it possible to handle those two things, well that’s just what I am going to do. I don’t know if I am talented at either thing, I don’t know if other people see me as a good mother or a good author…or even a good teacher if it comes down to that. But the truly amazing and liberating thing is that I don’t have to know.

Knowing what they think is not a requirement for me to live or to be happy. I have to trust GOD, trust that my belief in HIM and my love of the things that matter to me will get me through whatever happens. I will survive, or I won’t. But my daughter will be taken care of and my words will propagate and the world will spin and none of that changes if I stress or if I don’t stress. The only thing that changes will, hopefully, be the amount of acetaminophen that I take in every day. And really, I think those companies can survive without me.

Thank you for reading what I write and for encouraging me, even if it has only been through your ‘follow’. I hope that you are blessed and that your coming week is amazing. May your inspiration be limitless and your heart full.