Healthy Food Makes Me Sick

So I may or may not have mentioned this to you before but…I’m on a diet. I have been on a diet for over a month (again). This time, I’m doing better with it. I’m doing better with it because I’m concentrating more on making healthier choices and eating smaller portions than I am on forcing myself to eat these ‘healthy choice’ recipes that make me sick. That’s right, a lot of healthy foods actually make me S-I-C-K. No, I am not lying. Yes, this is real life.

You see, things like tomatoes make my acid reflux go through the roof. I get terrible stomach aches, the acid makes my throat hurt, and I get headaches. Bell peppers do much the same thing, although since I dislike their texture and flavor I start feeling sick a lot more quickly. The same happens with celery, asparagus, most squash, all but one eggplant recipe, etc etc and so forth. On top of that, I am literally allergic to strawberries. Yes, strawberries. Yes, it does suck. (guess what my daughter’s favorite food is?? YUP! Strawberries…which mom has to cut up for her. It’s a process and a show for anyone watching me).

My friends laugh because I am a sober person with the palate of a stoner (except for pizza honestly). So finding dishes that are HEALTHY and FILLING and YUMMY without half (sometimes over half) of the readily available vegetables can be a trial. It’s really no wonder that I’m failing every few days. But I keep working. I keep finding new recipes. I keep pinning pins to pinterest. I will keep this diet going. Even if I do sneak some beef jerky and mustard every once in a while.

Some healthy foods make me sick…but that doesn’t mean I can’t be healthy anyway.

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Adulting: The Game Show

Does anyone else ever feel like adulting is like the weirdest game show ever?

I am currently searching for a teaching job. When you’ve been interviewing and discussing possible classrooms and assignments, some conversations start making you giggle (hopefully to yourself). One such comment that has come across a couple of times is “you are a finalist for the position.” While that feels amazing to hear…it has also made me start feeling like I made it to the last step in a game.

Any minute now the deep announcer voice will come over hidden speakers and say something like: CONGRATULATIONS ELIZABETH! If you win, your prize is to be placed in a room with 15 mid-elementary students that you must teach mathematics, social skills, how to not pick their noses in public, and what a comma is used for. Good Luck!

And you know what, I really want to win this particular game!

#PitchWars

I am not very happy right now. I’ve been hearing so much about the twitter happenings with Pitch Wars recently and then I get on there and realize…I can’t Pitch my YA manuscripts because I self-published, they don’t want the next one because the rest of the series is self-published, and my only other completed manuscripts are picture books. The mentors are looking for finished manuscripts in MG, YA, NA, and A so if you have one of those ready, lucky you because i don’t 😉

If you’re like me and don’t have anything prepared, or if you aren’t like me and do, there are some great opportunities going on over there! So if you haven’t checked #PitchWars out on Twitter yet…get yourself over there! But first, check out this page HERE that has a bit more information about what you’re looking at/for/around…whatever.

Don’t mind me either…I’m still following, picking up advice, and generally just trolling the #PitchWars while I sob quietly into my tea. Good luck.

If you want to see my non-entries (since I can’t enter these…sob, sob sob, sigh) check out http://www.amazon.com/author/elizabethtyree

http://www.facebook.com/TyreeTomes like, follow, surprise me with a little dot of joy…

Adult Children’s Books?

Do you like to read children’s books? What a silly question! Most people I know enjoy a good children’s book every now and again…whether that be a ‘classic’ such as Winnie the Pooh or Dr. Seuss, a new picture book about animals, or something completely different, children’s books often hold a piece of our childhoods. When we read these books, even ones we’ve never before read, it unlocks a bit of our inner child and we find pieces of what we didn’t ever know was missing.

You know what I’ve noticed about children’s books lately? They don’t contain as many references aimed at ‘adults’ as their corresponding movies do. Movies aimed at the 0-10 year old market often include soundtracks, artwork hanging on the walls, and little sarcastic jokes that are meant for the parents and older siblings being forced to watch these things. The books though, they don’t seem to have that same balance in them.

So here’s an idea…let’s tweak it a little! I’m not saying we should go as far as the movies go (some of them are to the point where I don’t let my toddler watch again!) but a little addition here and there would give the parents something while keeping the book clean. And yes, I do realize that there are a lot of books with adults who reference different eras…they also usually get made fun of by the kids.

I’m looking for honest to goodness exchange of ideas and great inter-generational moments for both my characters, and the people reading the story. Hopefully, my 9 year old adventure seeker’s story will be read out loud and the parents will get a little kick out of a line here or there. Take a look at a few lines I’ve written (below) and see what you think…and PLEASE let me know of any other children’s books that fit the bill! My daughter only has a hundred or so books, we definitely need more 😉

Here is a segment from my current WIP –

Grandpa Punk has been teaching Paulonious Punk (grandson) to ride a unicycle while Paulonious’s best friend, John, gets used to riding an antique two wheeled bicycle…both with large wheels and ‘ape hanger’ handles. 

“Put your helmets on boys,” he plopped his fedora shaped helmet on with a flourish and a grin, “It’s time to ride!” 

So they pedaled their way out of the fort and down the street, following Grandpa as he hummed some old song by Foghat (what a weird name!) and Grandma yelled after them to remember supper in an hour!