National Hangover Day

Today is the day my friends and I affectionately dubbed “National Hangover Day.” The day after the sanctioned fireworks and beer celebrations that sweep the United States. Even with all of the political issues happening across the nation this year, there were people in the houses surrounding mine, popping fireworks, listening to loud (clashing) music, and drinking alcoholic beverages until well after midnight.

Which brings us to today. Today many of those same people who were so LOUD and ‘WOOHOO’ey last night will be absolutely, perfectly cocooned in silence today. The thump of a foot on hardwood will make them cringe as they try to remember exactly what they did and why. I won’t say I don’t enjoy it; but…

If you know someone who needs help coming back to life and getting over their good ol’ hangover, American made or otherwise, here are a few ideas to move them along:

1) Go to their house, bedroom, or bathroom door (whatever makes more sense), softly call through the door “ARE YOU OK IN THERE???” and knock ever so gently with one balled up fist. If you are an advanced fist knocker, two alternating fists may be used. This is a judgement call.

2) Wear a pair of hard sole shoes, preferably ones with clackity heels on them. Then pace back and forth in front of your hungover friend on hardwood, tiles, or cement. Remember to speak softly, as their head is likely hurting now.

3) Be a good friend and make them breakfast. A great hangover remedy is a spicy egg omelet with sausage and bacon, the greasier the better. Maybe add a little enchilada sauce and perhaps some salsa. Be sure to give them a big glass of Milk to go with this fine meal you’ve made. They’ll really appreciate you!

4) While they’re eating this amazing breakfast, they will probably need to be sitting up in a soft and cozy place. Put up a tray and set the television to their favorite action movie or show. Comment on all the stunts.

5) Finally, they will probably need a lot of rest. Make sure that they have nice soft pillows to sink into, a fan and a blanket so the hot/cold feelings are taken care of, a bowl or a trash can next to them “just in case”, and some soothing music to lull them to sleep. I prefer Tans-Siberian Orchestra, Classic Rock, or Red Dirt for this part.

I hope these suggestions will help everyone to have a Happy Hangover Day! Remember, those words they’re yelling at you are just endearments.