*This Post is a Rambling Personal Chat*
I feel like I could write a book, or at least few essays, on waiting at this point.
The list of things I’m waiting on seems to get longer by the day. Whether it be with writing (hearing back from agents, trying to figure out how to get my self-published works out there more, etc), teaching (waiting for interviews, to hear back from interviews, just trying to get a job!), things on the more personal front, or even results from exercising, I feel like I spend the vast majority of my time waiting. The worst part is that all this waiting is making me more anxious, stressed, and depressed than I usually am.
Talking to friends and family about it isn’t really much of an option either at the moment. We’ve had a discussion or two and they’ve moved on to their own things. I see no reason to burden them with my ever growing list of anxiety inducing ‘wait for its.’ But that then leaves the burning question: How does one gracefully ‘wait for it?’
I know that God will put me on the path I am meant to be on. I know that I just have to have the faith and fortitude to keep going and working toward my goals. But I always find myself praying that my loved ones are ok, that they get through what they’ve been waiting for, and then I later realize that I’m still holding on to mine. It’s all very muddled and achy and my usual coping mechanisms or writing, reading, and Netflix or Hulu haven’t been helping lately. I’m tired of being tired. I’m sick of feeling sick. I’m so fed up with not caring about what goes on around me.
With all that having been said (whined *sigh*) the question is this: How do you deal with waiting? Do you have any special rituals, techniques, or other things that help you when you’re having to stress and wait? Would you mind sharing them with me?
I hope that you are all having a fabulous week! See you soon!
I have a bit of an issue. I’m sure that several of you are making faces at the screen A bit?? Try several, you’re probably thinking. But come on guys, I’m being specific here!
Ok, Since you asked so nicely…here it is. My mind automatically types your speech into grammatically corrected sentences and paragraphs. Stop laughing, I’m being serious! 😉
You see, when people start speaking to me (usually only in person) my brain starts picking at the invisible keyboard, flashing words up behind my eyes as you speak. Text to type in an instant. The issue here is that I edit…a lot. As an author, bibliophile, and grammar geek, I automatically move words and phrases to where they should be. Which means that the compliment you give me containing a dangling participle and qualifiers…well it takes me a few seconds to remember that people don’t speak correctly, and I shouldn’t be offended by what you just said. I should really smile and be happy that you complimented me.
Most of the time I can ignore the flowing type, pay attention to your conversation, and smile at the correct intervals. I can laugh, snarl, and carry on with ease…but days like today when I have had little to no good sleep and a hyper toddler…it may take longer.
So please, don’t be offended at that face i just made. I was only trying to work through the odd conglomerate of words that you threw at me.
People don’t speak grammatically.
(Remember – if you want to find more of me, My works are available in paperback and e-reader versions @ amazon.com/author/elizabethtyree
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I’ve have come up with all kinds of ‘reasons’ lately. “Reasons” that I’m not exercising, “reasons” that I’m not finished grading papers, “reasons” for not posting on the blog in weeks…and they are some great reasons! All the extra ‘fun’ (and not so!) stuff that was scheduled for the students over the past two weeks bumped my lessons more than a week, so that final papers got turned in the day we let out for spring break instead of the week before.
As for the running training and strength exercising that I was gonna be in the middle of by now…well my kid won’t settle for long, she’s a handful for nap time, I have all those papers to grade, meetings and early mornings don’t give me time…I have a ton of them!! Are you noticing a trend here? All these great reasons that I’m behind or not doing something I said I would do…they’re just excuses.
Isn’t that all a reason really is? An excuse all dressed up in it’s Sunday finery, top hat and all, just waiting to be paraded out for the company. Well guess what, maybe if I just admitted, even to myself, that these things are NOT the real cause of my lackluster performance, then I could start to pull it together and get things done.
Now I’m not saying that admitting to making excuses is going to solve all the world’s problems here. Far from it! My reasoning is just this: If I admit, just to myself, that the reason I didn’t exercise was not that I was worried about my daughter’s nap schedule or the stack of papers waiting on me, it was just simply that I did not want to..then maybe I will eventually change my tactic or my motivations. Or I just get rid of that activity.
Maybe I will admit that the problem is really that I lack organizational skills and need to better manage my time, among other things. Well then there I have it…a jumping off point for overhauling my paper grading/exercising/dieting/writing/everyotherdarnthing!
And maybe your reasons really are nothing more than good reasons. No top hats or fancy handkerchiefs waving in the breeze. If that is the case, I applaud you! If not…well they say admitting you have a problem is the first step on the road to recovery. I just say, pass the potato chips and turn on Netflix!