Positive vs. Negative

Have you ever had ‘one of those days’ or weeks, or months, where you felt empty, drained, upset, uninspired, or even worthless? Of course you have! Unless you are a toddler reading this post to yourself on the super cool new tablet from Sprout, then I’m sure you’ve had at least a few hours of self doubt and/or inspiration blockage no matter what it is that you do (I’m not being paid to advertise, but these suckers are pretty cool!).

So what causes things to weigh on us like this? Why is it that we can feel happy one minute and sad, lonely, and uncreative the next? Part of it is that we live in a society where, despite (or perhaps because of) the rapidly growing number of selfies, people are constantly talking badly about themselves.

According to the post I recently read by Peggy Bert (found here), the ratio of positive comments needed to offset a negative is at least 2-to-1 in our most basic relationships. If you look at closer relationships, such as partners, parents, siblings, etc. the ratio can move up much higher, even up to 5 positive acts or comments required to offset every 1 negative.

So here is my question: If a negative comment from a boss, coworker, or friend needs at least 2 positives to offset that vibe…how many more does it take to offset a negative personal comment? How quickly can you shake it off when it is YOU doing the sniping at yourself?  I understand being bogged down, feeling anxious or trapped or claustrophobic in your own skin. In fact, that was yesterday for me. I have a lot of those days, my personal history includes some things that tend to sometimes make those days nightmares in my own mind. I’m sure most of us have those. It becomes more difficult to listen to my friends, my daughter’s sweet “You’re the Best Mama EVA” seems fake, and I want to throw all my clothes in the trash, burn them along with my writing notebooks, and run far away (well, drive in an air conditioned vehicle…but far far away). But eventually I have to just stop. I look around and see that, yes, there are more clothes to fold (shouldn’t have thrown them all on the floor…), yes, there are more dishes to wash, and ohmygoodness yes there are more toys to put away (HOW, HOW DID SHE GET SO MANY???), but there are also happy little monkey noises, a one eyed lop sided old rottie grinning at me, and the dragons in my head clamoring for attention.

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Maybe I’m not a size 10, maybe I’m not one of those girls, and yeah, maybe I am a big ol’ nerdy nerd who stays at home most of the time. But when I stop to look at what I have and what I do…I am pretty okie dokie; and, when I start doing positive things for myself, other positive things seem to follow. For example, for no good reason at all I got up last Saturday, did my hair and makeup, and put on a cute new dress. I thought I was staying at home, but it made me feel good. Mom, Monkey, and myself wound up wondering around town, getting compliments on how cute we all are, and finding an adorable little retro antique child’s ironing board!

Monkey and the ironing board....which is currently being used as a table.

Monkey and the ironing board….which is currently being used as a table.

Sometimes all it takes is a break. Yesterday, I got a babysitter (Thanks MOM!), went to lunch, met up with a good friend, hung out talking about my writing and his awesome new wife, and slowly without even trying, the weird angry paranoid sadness started melting away. I even got to go out again last night to watch Inside Out, and I woke up this morning with a smile on my face and the energy to do more today.

Happiness is infectious, so is negativity. When you are upset, the people around you are brought down and negativity can flow more easily. When you have a tendency to cut yourself or others down, even in jest, other people see and reciprocate in like manners. But if you let yourself think positively, even though it is HARD sometimes, then the people around you will notice that too.

Just a little sappy, happy pep talk to start your day off. I hope that it is full of joy, positive actions and comments, and blessings! May your inspiration flow and the river of your dreams never run dry!

The Return of the Mole

Today is Weekly Reader Wednesday. Or at least, today is SUPPOSED to be Weekly Reader Wednesday. I even had two possible posts in mind for the day:

1)      Does life have you down? Is mathematics causing you problems? Are numbers the source of your pain? If so, perhaps you should take a moment or two to dive into the world of Sideways Arithmetic from Wayside School by Louis Sachar.




2)      I’ve always enjoyed reading a good book. This month I am dedicating time each day to reading THE Good Book. (Thanks for the line Dad!). At eh moment my church family and I are using the resolutory feel of the new year to propel us through reading all four gospels before the month of January runs its course.


Sadly, neither ‘article’ will come to fruition today. All because I have had to return to my superhero self – The Mole Lady. My super power?? The ability to squint at objects directly in front of my face and not see what they really are. I normally try to keep this identity super-secret and buried in a deep, dark place (the type of place that moles are happiest tunneling through) as the mutant gene that makes me a dark red-head offers plenty of superiority to make me happy. But an ill placed toddler head butt and a centimeter turn too far to the back of the room has broken my glasses and released the MOLE.

I’m told that it is adorable how I quint and lean much too close to an item in order to see what is going on. Of course, I have also been told that the taped glasses are very cute, so maybe I can’t trust those two friends of mine.

Either way, I didn’t feel particularly led to finish writing either one of today’s options and all of this post as basically been a set up to tell you that Reader Wednesday won’t be happening this week. I do, however, need your help.

Is there something you would love to see reviewed here? Or maybe you need some suggestions on reading material for a certain age group or genre?? Perhaps you just have an idea for a blog topic over another subject area that you would like to see me write on.

Whatever it is, LAY IT ON ME!! Leave a comment here or at www.facebook.com/TyreeTomes

Have a Blessed Day and don’t forget to come back tomorrow!

A Watched Blog Doesn’t Boil

I have had several blogs over the past few months that I just KNEW would garner untold amounts of attention and boost my statistics through the roof. I hit the button to post my self-proclaimed brilliance and anxiously wait for the dozens of ‘likes’ and comments that I am so sure will come pouring in to the site.

I wait, and I wait, and I wait some more…each time I check the page it tells me the same story: no new views, no new likes, no new followers, and no new comments. Much like my tea kettle, a watched blog just doesn’t seem to boil.

So here is a question for you. IS there something that I can do to entice my readers to become more interactive? Is there a topic you would like to see covered? A story prompt, title, or character name you would like for me to use? Please let me know!

While you think on that I will go work on this week’s short story, the title of which was given to me as a prompt by a loyal reader…”The Watch in the Window.” Remember to swing by Sunday to discover how and why that watch shows up! Until tomorrow (or in five minutes when I obsessively check my stats page and realize that you haven’t read this yet) May you have a Blessed and worthwhile day!