Motivation, Life Stuff, Trying to be Healthy

This post is something a bit different from usual…although I guess posting anything at all at this point is different from usual 😛 As many of you may know, I’ve been struggling to maintain motivation in a lot of things. I thought I was quit of smoking, didn’t have one for three years, and then started up again and have been struggling to quit a second time. I started exercising regularly and eating more healthy foods…then got depressed and stopped caring. I didn’t take my medicines for PCOS, I stopped exercising, I binged and snacked and stopped even the most basic of water drinking. I laid around on my butt and didn’t even find the energy to do my writing. (You may have noticed even FEWER posts from me) While I had a few spurts of creativity and spurts of reading and writing, I have been nowhere near regular with any of it.

That is changing this week, today, RIGHT NOW! I have exercised at least 25 minutes 3 out of the last 4 days (I was sick one day…no pushing too hard!). I didn’t want to. I wanted to sit, I wanted to binge watch a show or just play pointless games on my phone. Instead, I went out and exercised. I pushed past the anxiety of ‘what if I can’t’ and ‘what if there are PEOPLE’ and I went. I ignored my anxiety at telling my family I wanted to eat better and not go out as much, they actually really dug the idea! My best friend, who has started exercising for at least 25-30 minutes a day and eating smaller portions etc., has been an amazing support, pushing me to believe I can…and to go and do it!

Today I took my daughter to the library for the summer reading program hour they have on Monday’s. While I waited for their hour to be up, I wandered around and checked a few areas I don’t normally attempt with a 4 yr old. I didn’t mean to check out any books for myself today…I checked out 7. BUT, 3 of those were cookbooks. Mom is a vegetarian and I found 2 cookbooks for her and, more exciting for me, I found a cookbook by Lisa Lillien called “Hungry Girls 200 UNDER 200″…a book of 200 recipes that each have less that 200 calories per serving…and guys, I CANNOT WAIT to try a lot of these! They look and sound amazing.

I’m working out. I’m eating better. I’m drinking more water. I’ve gone almost 3 full days without a cigarette twice in the past week…I have none right now and intend for it to stay that way. I’ve been working on a new novel and getting ready for Camp NaNoWriMo in July. I’m reading a few good books and, man, I am fired up to be the healthiest, mentally and physically, that I can be! Hopefully, I can keep this up and make it a habit this time!

I would love to hear about your stories….are you working on something like this? Let me know how you stay motivated, how you keep your wits about you and emotions in check, and what your favorite part about the journey is.

Have a great day everyone!

Motivational Talks

I am extremely proud of myself this morning. It is 8:50 here in the NW Corner of Oklahoma, and I have been up for 2 1/2 hours. I know, there are many of you out there who do that on a daily basis…I do not. I don’t like mornings and mornings seem to return that feeling. If I am not required to get up, I usually don’t. So what prompted my early rise?

Exercising…yup. I woke up this morning because one of my best friends asked me to go to the gym with her when she got off work at 7am. You know she has to be one of my besties because I only laughed for a minute or so before I slowly agreed. And you know what? I got up, I drank a little coffee, I got myself dressed, and I walked on a treadmill for the first time (I think I’ll even go faster next time). I didn’t fall, I didn’t look too funny, and we went swimming in the gym’s pool after 15 minutes on the treadmill. Its been a great morning. I think I know wasn’t my friend, even though she’s great. It wasn’t the endorphin rush from exercising because, let’s face it, I didn’t go that fast. It wasn’t even the boost from swimming, which is one of my favorite things EVER!

The reason this morning feels so great is because I CHOSE to go. I wasn’t forced. No one came in yelling and shaking me until I dragged my behind out of bed and stumbled along with them. No, I CHOSE to get up, I CHOSE to work out, and I CHOOSE to write instead of going back to sleep now. I am CHOOSING a healthier life style because it is time. I am CHOOSING to work on my books instead of mindlessly flip channels because my readers, my friends, you guys…you who I feel so connected to through words on a screen or page…deserve the best and my books deserve that respect and loving attention. I CHOOSE to be more, not a vapid shallow excuse of myself, but a full on no-holds-barred crazy cyclone of Beth.

There were plenty of things holding me back before, and probably plenty that will hold me back again soon, but what are they really? They’re the perceptions I have of what other people may or may not be thinking. They’re societal preconceptions and fading norms that I cling to as excuses. They’re my ‘look’, as in “I’m too fat to go to the gym..” (let me tell you what…I’m a big girl but today there was a woman significantly larger than I..and she was GETTING IT! I was so proud) or “people here don’t really wear those kinds of things…” or…or…or…STOP IT!

Whatever you think is holding you back, is just what you think. It isn’t what the rest of the world thinks, it isn’t even what 90% of the population think about you. Its you and whoever made the snide comment that lives in the back of your mind and gives you an excuse not to. Don’t give excuses, don’t make up reasons, just find a way. Door’s closed? Windows are locked? Check the roof…but don’t actually break in to someone’s home because that is bad juju and you won’t accomplish most of your goals from jail.

Until next time, I hope you have a blessed and phenomenal day! May your motivation and inspiration outweigh your excuses and fear of perspiration.

Reasons are just Excuses in a Top hat

I’ve have come up with all kinds of ‘reasons’ lately. “Reasons” that I’m not exercising, “reasons” that I’m not finished grading papers, “reasons” for not posting on the blog in weeks…and they are some great reasons! All the extra ‘fun’ (and not so!) stuff that was scheduled for the students over the past two weeks bumped my lessons more than a week, so that final papers got turned in the day we let out for spring break instead of the week before.

As for the running training and strength exercising that I was gonna be in the middle of by now…well my kid won’t settle for long, she’s a handful for nap time, I have all those papers to grade, meetings and early mornings don’t give me time…I have a ton of them!! Are you noticing a trend here? All these great reasons that I’m behind or not doing something I said I would do…they’re just excuses.

Isn’t that all a reason really is? An excuse all dressed up in it’s Sunday finery, top hat and all, just waiting to be paraded out for the company. Well guess what, maybe if I just admitted, even to myself, that these things are NOT the real cause of my lackluster performance, then I could start to pull it together and get things done.

Now I’m not saying that admitting to making excuses is going to solve all the world’s problems here. Far from it! My reasoning is just this: If I admit, just to myself, that the reason I didn’t exercise was not that I was worried about my daughter’s nap schedule or the stack of papers waiting on me, it was just simply that I did not want to..then maybe I will eventually change my tactic or my motivations. Or I just get rid of that activity.

Maybe I will admit that the problem is really that I lack organizational skills and need to better manage my time, among other things. Well then there I have it…a jumping off point for overhauling my paper grading/exercising/dieting/writing/everyotherdarnthing!

And maybe your reasons really are nothing more than good reasons. No top hats or fancy handkerchiefs waving in the breeze. If that is the case, I applaud you! If not…well they say admitting you have a problem is the first step on the road to recovery. I just say, pass the potato chips and turn on Netflix!

Surviving, Thriving, and Striving

We survived…that was the first thought I had yesterday afternoon as I pulled in to the daycare lot. Well, the first thought after “why in the world would you put a parking lot HERE? But that’s beside the point. The point is that survived week one of the life change.

For the past two years, Mommy and Monkey have lived a life of playtime and snuggles with random events like visitors or nap time writing barely leaving a blip on her little radar. Last Tuesday changed all of that and our new adventure began. For Monkey, the new adventure is being in daycare. Imagine being the only child of an only child….then add in that your only child mother is single and able to stay at home with you because you live with your grandparents. Yup…poor Monkey has never been to a ‘real’ babysitter. But she survived and in our striving for survival, she’s starting to slowly thrive there (apparently she’s down to only five or six crying jags a day now!). Maybe I’ll stop the random moments of blind panic and tears eyed sadness sometime soon too.

As for me, well I’m almost 75% certain that about 80% of my classroom is prepared for Monday night’s ‘Meet the Teacher’ so that’s pretty good…right?
RIGHT? Seriously though, I am enjoying my co-workers, my grade level team, and my new classroom. I am genuinely looking forward to this school year, and not just because I’ve started a beginners exercise program (found on that I’ve been doing as soon as I wake up (at 5:30am). It helps me wake up more quickly and will, hopefully, help get me in a better shape. I may never love mornings, but we can learn to thrive in them!

How were your weeks? Are you thriving, surviving, or nose diving?
Whatever you’re doing, may you blessed in it; and may each day be better than the last.

Lifestyle Change



Today is day two of my new exercise and diet life style change…or it will be if I ever get to the exercise part. A little over a week ago, I found out that the diet I was on was actually causing me more problems and not helping me lose weight. I’ve spent the intervening time researching what I need to do for a full on lifestyle change. So now I’m back on carbs and sadly off of fats. Do you know how hard it is to find a fat free juicy steak?? Good thing I love sea food!

Anyway, I’m trying to start some circuit training and three days a week I will be doing the Couch25K program. I am actually looking forward to being able to run…I’ve never actually been able to run more than a block at a time (probably less if I’m telling the truth), but I really want to add some kettle bell in as well. Are the soft exercise balls the same as the kettle bells?

As you can see, I’m a little scattered. The only routine I’ve ever stuck to for exercise (not counting when I worked as a carhop) was the two weeks that I kept up with Hip Hop Abs. But I am determined and I have a new mantra: I WILL learn to RUN! I WILL BE FIT!! I WILL BE HEALTHY!! But…I don’t have to do it all today! So maybe this time will be different…no, this time WILL be different.

Anyone else out there working on this? If you have any suggestions, hints, recipes, etc. I would love to hear them!

What I Should Be Doing

I should be exercising. Or working on orders, or working on Mom’s birthday present, or reading the book that I’m supposed to have a review ready for tomorrow (not gonna happen). Even, gasp!, cleaning. There are a vast number of things I should be doing. So what am I doing? I’m trolling the blogs and articles and new book releases. I’m writing a third post for the day. I’m happily living in the land of lost time while my toddler naps, the lights at half-mast and two-hundred whole new words committed to paper (well…word page) for the continuation of the Stone Dragon Saga. Call me lazy, call me silly, just don’t call me Ishmael…I write, I read, I procrastinate chores. I live the good life.

That’s it, I don’t have any more. I’m off to watch streaming episodes of last week’s television shows and think about possibly working on the half-finished crochet elephant that is sitting on my craft table. It’s too cold to do much else.

Have a warm and lazily Blessed day!

No Excuses! OR Losing THAT before I lose “IT”

Okay, I’m just going to come right out and admit it, I’m fat. Oh not laying around in bed, unable to get up, can’t breathe, waiting to die, Jabba the Hut FAT, but I am bigger than I should be.

There are all sorts of reasons for my size, such as my inheritance of P.C.O.S. (poly cystic ovarian syndrome), a family history of diabetes and poor dietary choices, health issues after I had my daughter, knee problems from a fall (I’m a huge klutz), chronic bronchitis, asthma; on a bad day the list just goes on and on and the excuses run the gamut.

That is the truth though, all they are is EXCUSES. Reasons that I have slowly stacked up like a wall over my 28 years of life, and that I can pull out at the drop of a hat if need be.


Well you know what?  NO MORE!

No more excuses, no more being lazy, no more not helping because my knee hurts or I can’t breathe.  I’m done.

If I can push through obstacles, real or perceived, to write the story, crochet the pattern, make the jewelry, or play my flute, then I CAN find a way to be healthier, to not be the fat diabetic couch sitter anymore.

That hour an afternoon that my toddler sleeps and I watch television? NOT ANYMORE! Now I push through and exercise.  I don’t like the ‘chatter’ on the dvd exercise program I chose so I don’t watch it? NOT ANYMORE! Now I just put it on mute, put on the captions, stick in my earbuds, and rock out to my own music (which also seems to help keep the 1 year old asleep, since she suffers from Fear of Missing Out!)

You want to know another secret? Those crazy, annoying exercise fanatics may be right…SHHHH, don’t tell them I said that! But I am almost 2 full weeks into is and I just don’t feel right now unless I’ve done my daily exercise!  Even with the heavy cold I’ve had going on the past few days, I feel better with my workout done. Physically better, mentally better, and I am even sleeping better. You may ask, what about the breathing issues?  Oh, I drink a little coffee since there’s a caffeine in it that helps keep your bronchial passages open (so does Coke, but the calories jump by over 300 for a large Coke).


So what now? What about your swollen knee and foot? What if the baby doesn’t sleep? What about ALL OF YOUR REASONS?

Find a way.  Wrap your leg, Dance WITH the baby, DO IT! 


I would love to write more for you, but it’s time for my abdominal work.  I hope this motivated you, I know it has me! Have a BLESSED Day!