I just love being horridly, incredibly awkward. Add to the klutziness an unrelenting, insatiable need to replay every poor pitiful attempt at a social interaction over & over & over again and I’ve perfected the recipe for the low-sleep anxiety cookie.

Because honestly, if there’s one thing I know to be absolute certainty, it’s that the first time might not actually be so bad. But by the 53rd replay you’e got mimes crying for you in a box (Or worse, doing the slow clap!) while you fall all over your big mouth. (Oh and that hairless cats are really creepy, but that’s a whole ‘nother ball of wax!)

And, of course, my most horrendous cases of this awkwardness are generally around either my boss/co-workers to the most highly attractive members of the opposite sex that are in the vicinity. At least these episodes are probably much worse in my own mind! Yeah, that’s it…totally not at all why I’m single and spend all my time at home alone with my toddler watching Curious George and Strawberry Shortcake. Good thing I’m fine dating Netflix! At least I rarely forget to stock up on popcorn, chips, salsa, and pickles…the ‘late night, date night’ foods of choice for my big chair marathons!

Sneaky Snipes

Have you ever heard a half whispered response in someone’s conversation and just known it was about you? That little joke your parents make to each other that you’re sure has to do with your goals or hair color (whatever) but you brush it off and go on…then later as you are trying to write, study, or concentrate on your current Netflix obsession it hits you. You want to scream, break something (maybe their noses?), break down in tears. It hurts and you know they don’t care, probably because it wasn’t even about you, so you simmer and seethe all day. Maybe you confront them, maybe you get over it, but those sneaky snipes have a way of cropping up in the back if our mind sometimes even years later. They burrow down deep into the subconscious and wait for the right opening.
Hey look Clive (mine are named Clive and Vic) she’s starting to get everything finished up in her classroom, let’s remind her how worthless her friends think she is.
Yo Vic, she’s about to write, remind her how she has had to rely on aid to keep a roof over her head because her writing SUCKS!

And on and on and on they go. It is difficult to ignore, more difficult to overcome them…and I haven’t gotten there yet. But there are ways to push them aside.

1) follow your dream anyway. This is hard,one of the hardest things you can do. And yes, you may have to work another job and/or live with relatives. Times will be difficult, but dreamers who want to achieve will have to deal with those things.

2) just give up – I don’t recommend it. When you stop pursuing what you love, when your words become hollow because you no longer believe in them, you lose part of yourself. It becomes easier for other things to slip in, for mistakes to be made, and for your world to tumble and crumble around you. Just keep dreaming and working toward your goals.

3) take a break, crank up the music, and just dance. Or go for a walk, go swim, horseback ride, etc. Clear your mind, open yourself to the possibilities and inspirations that surround you, and once again remind yourself that no one can truly know the pain, sweat, and tears that have brought to where you are (and you don’t know theirs!) so the only person making you feel this bad about yourself, is yourself. Let if go, move on. There is no room for doubters and if those big mouths didn’t believe in you, they would be gone by now!

What do you think?

May you have a blessed day and May inspiration be around every turn!

Better late than never?

I know that I have not been the most punctual of bloggers this past month or so. I’m late with posts, sometimes I forget them all together, and twice (TWICE) I had to post Short Story Sunday on Tuesday. I am not proud of this BUT I do have a pretty good excuse…I’m lazy. Wait, no…I’m working on getting a classroom and lesson plans in order (that sounds better than I was too lazy to make the time between my kid and my class.). Unfortunately I do not foresee this plight getting better once school starts, although I do pledge to do my best not skimp on you. I haven’t forgotten you, I haven’t abandoned you, I haven’t lost my passwords (ok, I though I had but it was only a momentary panic), I have merely been experiencing an abundance of to-dos and an overabundance of technical difficulties. Hopefully I have most of it figured out soon. If any of you are organizational gurus…HELP!


Now that I have that taken care of, Here is a little short review for your Tuesday (Wednesday…)

Instead of doing a full book review at this point, I want to recommend something for you. If you are a fan of fantasy books written for adult readers in a real world type setting, and you haven’t already read them, I would love for you to go check out Kelley Armstrong;s Women of the Otherworld series.(disclaimer: This is a series that includes mythical creatures, portrayals of heaven/hell, ghosts, magic, etc etc etc. There is also sex, violence, and extremely bad manners. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!)

It is a sassy and delightful mix of creepy and cool, and I’m currently looking for my own Clay 😉 (Females…when you read or watch you probably will be too. Males…if you are that guy, slide me a comment ;)- )

Not only is this series the container for a fantastically written and incredibly well built world that mirrors are own in so many ways…it has also caught the attention of television watchers and execs alike as SyFy carried the Canadian made Bitten (based off of the first book(s) in this series) and introduced a new set of people to the werewolves of Stone Haven Manor. After reading the books several times. I had a definite picture in my mind of what each character should look like. Out of 9 main characters, 2 matched my interior portraits. After the first episode, my portraits suddenly lean more toward the television portrayal. Not because of how cute or cut they are (they are) but because they were the character. I did not for a second think that the actors were an ill fit…although some of the beginning sequence is completely changed from the books. Even the differing scenes were so well done that unless you had read the book recently OR had read it a dozen or so times over the past decade (that’s me *waveshand*) you probably wouldn’t realize the differences. 

In short…read the series and check out Bitten on Netflix. It is a creepsassy good time 😀 I give the series and the show both 4.5 out of 5 Dragons. 

Just Sleep!

I went to bed almost two hours earlier than usual. Exhausted, I hoped to get settled down fairly quickly and at least gain a little extra sleep time. I cleared my bed of all the usual notebooks and colored pens that litter almost every surface I spend any time around and reached to turn of the light…BAM!

I spent the next hour writing a chapter and half (or so) of my newest novel. Finally at a point where I had nothing more to say for the moment, I quickly put all away, crawled under my fluffy comforter, snapped off the lamp and thought…maybe I should blog about it.




But I can’t sleep, at least not until I write it all out. Laying in the dark, tortured by my beloved words doesn’t do me any good. I can’t get any sleep with them clogged ad stagnating, choking me, almost angrily waiting for me to get up and allow them to be written. What right do I have to sleep when such mad forces are awaiting my hand?

Oh well, at least I’m not just binging on Netflix again!

(This picture of I took of Pickles, a rescued sea turtle who lives at the Corpus Christie Aquarium {one of my most favorite places to while away the time} has absolutely nothing at all to do with the post…EXCEPT that I wrote a scene last night including an angry sea turtle, and she seems to fit the bill. Enjoy! )