Positive vs. Negative

Have you ever had ‘one of those days’ or weeks, or months, where you felt empty, drained, upset, uninspired, or even worthless? Of course you have! Unless you are a toddler reading this post to yourself on the super cool new tablet from Sprout, then I’m sure you’ve had at least a few hours of self doubt and/or inspiration blockage no matter what it is that you do (I’m not being paid to advertise, but these suckers are pretty cool!).

So what causes things to weigh on us like this? Why is it that we can feel happy one minute and sad, lonely, and uncreative the next? Part of it is that we live in a society where, despite (or perhaps because of) the rapidly growing number of selfies, people are constantly talking badly about themselves.

According to the post I recently read by Peggy Bert (found here), the ratio of positive comments needed to offset a negative is at least 2-to-1 in our most basic relationships. If you look at closer relationships, such as partners, parents, siblings, etc. the ratio can move up much higher, even up to 5 positive acts or comments required to offset every 1 negative.

So here is my question: If a negative comment from a boss, coworker, or friend needs at least 2 positives to offset that vibe…how many more does it take to offset a negative personal comment? How quickly can you shake it off when it is YOU doing the sniping at yourself?  I understand being bogged down, feeling anxious or trapped or claustrophobic in your own skin. In fact, that was yesterday for me. I have a lot of those days, my personal history includes some things that tend to sometimes make those days nightmares in my own mind. I’m sure most of us have those. It becomes more difficult to listen to my friends, my daughter’s sweet “You’re the Best Mama EVA” seems fake, and I want to throw all my clothes in the trash, burn them along with my writing notebooks, and run far away (well, drive in an air conditioned vehicle…but far far away). But eventually I have to just stop. I look around and see that, yes, there are more clothes to fold (shouldn’t have thrown them all on the floor…), yes, there are more dishes to wash, and ohmygoodness yes there are more toys to put away (HOW, HOW DID SHE GET SO MANY???), but there are also happy little monkey noises, a one eyed lop sided old rottie grinning at me, and the dragons in my head clamoring for attention.

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Maybe I’m not a size 10, maybe I’m not one of those girls, and yeah, maybe I am a big ol’ nerdy nerd who stays at home most of the time. But when I stop to look at what I have and what I do…I am pretty okie dokie; and, when I start doing positive things for myself, other positive things seem to follow. For example, for no good reason at all I got up last Saturday, did my hair and makeup, and put on a cute new dress. I thought I was staying at home, but it made me feel good. Mom, Monkey, and myself wound up wondering around town, getting compliments on how cute we all are, and finding an adorable little retro antique child’s ironing board!

Monkey and the ironing board....which is currently being used as a table.

Monkey and the ironing board….which is currently being used as a table.

Sometimes all it takes is a break. Yesterday, I got a babysitter (Thanks MOM!), went to lunch, met up with a good friend, hung out talking about my writing and his awesome new wife, and slowly without even trying, the weird angry paranoid sadness started melting away. I even got to go out again last night to watch Inside Out, and I woke up this morning with a smile on my face and the energy to do more today.

Happiness is infectious, so is negativity. When you are upset, the people around you are brought down and negativity can flow more easily. When you have a tendency to cut yourself or others down, even in jest, other people see and reciprocate in like manners. But if you let yourself think positively, even though it is HARD sometimes, then the people around you will notice that too.

Just a little sappy, happy pep talk to start your day off. I hope that it is full of joy, positive actions and comments, and blessings! May your inspiration flow and the river of your dreams never run dry!

A little Pep in my Goals

Good Monday Morning Friends!! I know that a few of you have already made up your goals for this week and are even now working semi-feverishly to accomplish them. I’m a little slower than that 😉

Whether or not you have set goals, there is something that you want to take care of today, tomorrow, and the rest of the week. Here’s a hint…DO IT! I’ve been looking at this yarn for two days thinking about crocheting an alligator (the final in mother’s students’ special orders for the year). I have until tomorrow to get it done now because I did not fulfill that goal from last week L BUT! I can do it.

That’s the great thing about goals, even if they are unreachable there is some part of it that you CAN finish. For instance, many of my friends and I have the great goal to be published or, since I’m already self-published, to be hugely popular and sell a million copies. To do that, I have to write and edit and re-write and re-edit, etc. It may be a long road, but if you love what you do then the time flies by.

So, in the interest of accountability and, hopefully, inspiration…

Here are my GOALS for the week of May 19th – May 25th:

  1. Sell at least one book (I haven’t sold any in a month…Perhaps I need to do something differently with book covers or advertising?? Wait, I don’t advertise…)
  2. Work feverishly on illustrations for the Short Story Sunday Volume 1  book so it can be published ASAP (hopefully in the next week to aid with goal 1)
  3. Have a GREAT giveaway – Ok, so I can’t do much about that one other than posting links like this one –Book 3 of the Stone Dragon Saga: Dragon On The Green free through Kindle for e-reader download until midnight May 21, 2014
  4. Blog Away – Every Day!
  5. Write at least three new chapters for Dragons in the Deep.
  6. Write a short story for S.S.S.
  7. Do some of that pesky housework
  8. Send in the paperwork to get back the other paperwork to take to get copies of the third papers to drive over to the new job so they have it all on file *phew*
  9. Stop giving myself so many big goals, I’m tired just looking at this list and I didn’t even include anything about playing with my little girl (20 months old…lots of energy.)

 

Oh! I almost forgot…My Dad, Dr. Wilson Jay Tyree, set a goal for the week too:

  1. Give away copies of the new children’s book, Monsoon McKreel and the Rose to people across the globe…or at least just a lot of people. Monsoon McKreel is free for download until Friday May 23rd.

 

I hope that seeing my goals helps you make your own, makes you feel better, or at least gives you a nice healthy chortle this fine morning. Do have any goals you would like to share? I would love to see them! Not only is sharing caring (remember that when you talk to your friends…Sharing things like books written by nice ladies you read on the internet means that you CARE about your loved ones!)…sharing helps us stay on point so we don’t have to explain our failures to everyone!

 

 

 

Monday Pep

It is overcast and damp here in the little town of nowheresville, with the castle ground just the right amount of squishy and the air just the right temperature for either a t-shirt or light long-sleeves. After the heat of last week, this washing and cooling of our home has given me new purpose. The week is begun, the work to be done is waiting, and I have a new list of goals (that looks rather a lot like last week’s list).

  1. I will WRITE…I WILL WRITE.
  2. I WILL crochet the five animals I promised those students!
  3. I WILL prepare a book review for tomorrow (and blogs for all week)
  4. I will learn to work this confounded universal remote
  5. I WILL Read
  6. At some point I will probably do laundry
  7. I WILL prepare a short story for Sunday
  8. I WILL take a nap
  9. I WILL Plant things…peppery things

Don’t judge me but…Loki is my favorite! Thanks to BegitalLarcos for this wonderful meme! 😉

That’s right friends, I am burdened with a glorious purpose! Ink pens, paper, and a not-too-firm mattress are the keys to my success. But what about you? Are you suffering from writer’s block or reader’s remorse (halfway through and you just can’t make yourself sit down to read)? Can you not find your art? Whatever it is keeping you down this Monday, brush it off! YOU are in charge and YOU set your goals (and your boss of course, but that is an entirely different list!). Change your perspective, change your location, take a break and play on the swings…whatever you need to do to clear the fuzz a great weekend brings. Then…write a list!

What are YOUR goals for this week? How did you decide on them? How do you plan on achieving them? Let me know, I love to hear from you!!

As always, I wish you a blessed and inspiring week!