Hashtag Teacher Problems…

I have never, not once, felt that I should be doing this job. I know I do a decent job, I know I enjoy my job, and I know I love my students…but I am always concerned that I am not enough for my students. Somehow, I feel that I am a daily disappointment to them, even when I’m spot on and we’re all feeling the wave of knowledge soak us down.

Yesterday was worse. A student, one of the ones who I can’t say is my favorite because I don’t play favorites in my classroom thank you very much, got in trouble. Not just a little trouble, big randomly decided to tackle another student on the playground and I thought they would both be broken from the impact trouble. No one got hurt, but I still had to write people up and send them in to the Principal for excessive sassiness and rule breaking. I cried, not that the boys noticed.

That afternoon in ISD he wrote a two page almost legible essay about how everyone hates him and Ms. Tyree never comes to school (I missed 3 days last week due to illness). His final sentence begged to be sent to Middle School because he’s older than the rest of the kids in his class. Today he came in happy with me again but I can’t help but wonder what in the world is going on and if maybe, just maybe, I shouldn’t be the one in this position.

I’ve been told that this doubt makes me a good teacher That the doubt and stress I put on myself make me strive to do better and be better for my kids. I honestly doubt that as well because right now it is 10 am and I have already cried twice, had a major attitude attack about how a fellow teacher treated my student, and have a raging stress headache because I am suddenly not sure at all about our ability to pass the upcoming tests (writing test in less than a month…*cue hair pulling out!*)

Believe me, this post is nothing compared to my rants this morning. So please, keep me in your prayers and thoughts throughout the next few weeks. Compassion may kill me yet!

Tuesday Tattler

Hello and welcome to today’s edition of a Comedy of Errors! I’ll be your host, the grumpy goof, as we meander and annoy our way through the day.

Ok, so it really hasn’t been that bad and would probably have been a great morning if I had gotten some sleep last night. My 21 month old spent 3 hours in the ER Sunday afternoon (she’s fine, just a little infection that caused a super high fever) and she’s been very touchy, cranky, and in pain. Add 3 middle school students and 2 high school students staying with us this week for Singing School and I didn’t sleep much last night. I’m tired, my mother is the maid/chef for the 9 people staying here and 25 eating suppers here so she’s exhausted, and we’re just a couple of confused and ditzy people today.

This morning I told a girl to ‘get up off me’ and ‘don’t touch me’ when she jumped into a hug. I got on to them for interrupting a conversation..I was mean. Fast forward to Singing School morning class…Dad’s phone goes off and he can’t hush it, (our “principal” got to get on to him so that was funny) Mom needed the car. We get to Wal Mart and Mom is so tired that she gets confused and keeps trying to check out before we have everything. Come home, the dog has torn through the trash can and strewn chewed up paper plates across the floor.

It isn’t even lunch time here yet and I am ready for it to be tomorrow!

How is your day going?

Too School for Cool

so true.  I always get the weirdest looks from people when I am super enthusiastic about things.  And I'm like, what? You mean you never met someone who loved being alive?  You mean YOU don't love being alive?  Dude, that sucks I'm sorry.

When I tell people what I do I usually get one of two reactions:

  1. “You’re an author??” look of mingled concern, incredulity, and very slight admiration. “No wonder you live with your parents at the age of almost 30 and are still single. Wow. Cool. Good for you following your dream!”
  2. “You’re an author??” gleam of narcissistic hope lights behind eyes. “sweet! I always wanted to write but work/school/family/friends/etc. got in the way. I have tons of short stories/half-finished novels/poems at home just waiting for me to find the time. Would you like to read some??”

Somewhere between ½ and ¾ of the time both reactions happen in the same person within seconds of each other. Most of those people are not ones that would ever illicit the idea that they enjoy writing. In fact, some of them are individuals that I didn’t know could write more than their name and the title of their favorite store. However, the truth is that no matter how ‘un-writerly’ someone seems to us, everyone has a story. The difference is, I display mine and revel in the telling of it.

When you add to that my education degree, upcoming first full year of teaching, and various other interests (movies, books, music, playing music, games, etc.), you get the formula for a lot of name calling in the fashion of ‘nerd’, ‘geek’, or ‘dork’. Even my vague sense of fashion has been described as ‘nerdy bohemian teacher type’ (which is better than the weird geek bohemian hippie goth that I got called a few years ago…not even sure how that happened!).

You see, we all get told from an early age that brains and quirk are important, more important that our looks even. But then we learn better. By the time children reach elementary school, most of them will be able to tell you which kid is ‘weird,’ ‘nerdy,’ or ‘athletic,’ and the weird and nerdy ones aren’t on the cool list. It isn’t ‘cool’ to love reading and science and math. It isn’t ‘awesome’ to enjoy school…unless you have a class that encourages integration and fun, hands on learning, but even then the chess nerds are going to be picked on.

So how, in the middle of this mess, did being a nerd suddenly become cool?? The answer is incredibly simple…we grew up. So now kids who grew up in the 80s and 90s are the adults and the weird kid with the Ninja Turtles back pack, the Care Bears lunch box, and the Hobbit weighing down her 3rd grade homework is a teacher, and a writer, and an encourager of crazy nerdism.

The best part is that being a nerd is all inclusive. We accept anyone, anyway they come. All you have to do is get excited about something. Be passionate about what you love and do what you’re passionate about. Cosplay, science, drawing comic books, marching band, movie marathons…do it all! And when someone calls you a nerd, thank them. Leave them wondering what’s so awesome in your life because you know what, it is much cooler to live a life you love than to live a life that other people deem ‘popular’ or ‘cool’ just because they don’t understand. Most superheroes…NERDS! Real-life actors, actresses, millionaires, teachers, and business people? They’re nerdy too! Even a lot of the pro athletes are NERDS! So come on! BE A NERD! It’s the cool thing to do 😉

If you don’t believe me, go watch this video of Wil Wheaton explaining why it is awesome to be a nerd.

http://www.wimp.com/awesomenerd

May the force be with you as you live long and prosper while avoiding muggles and orcs during your journey to Mordor with the one ring that will unlock the Mortal Instruments and bring back the Doctor for Sherlock. 😉

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cold Weather

I don’t like to be cold. There are some people who just adore wrapping up in 15 layers of clothing, 3 hats, a scarf, hand warmers, mittens, and boots; all in order to go running outside and sliding around in something that can turn your toes blue and lop off bits of your nose. I don’t get that. Perhaps my aversion to cold is the reason behind never making a good snowman, although if the wind didn’t blow so much here in NW Oklahoma, I could deal quite well with the snow (at least for a few minutes).

However, I abhor the biting cold. I sincerely believe that when the world was created, God meant for us to live in a tropical climate of day time temperatures from 72-84 degrees and evening lows nowhere below about 55 degrees. When the fruit was eaten, it didn’t just get Adam and Eve kicked out of the garden and given painful childbirth..it started real winters. Did I mention that I don’t like the cold?

Don’t get me wrong, I love the fall. Fall is my favorite time of year, with the changing leaf colors, the warm days with nights cool enough to bonfire, and the perfect temperatures for curling up with a cup of hot tea and a light blanket. I’m sure that if I moved to somewhere tropical that I would probably miss the snow on some level…right? Maybe I should try that idea out and see how long it takes to miss the cold…They take imagination as currency now don’t they? It seems like a good plan anyway.

Whether you are one of those people who enjoy freezing temperatures, or someone like me who tolerates the winter as best you can, I hope that you all stay cozy and safe this winter season…unless you live where it is warm. If you live where it is warm, and there are beaches (for my muse of course) perhaps you would like to send some of that warmth my way?? J Wherever you are, and whatever season is your favorite, I wish you a Blessed day.